days and nights

If this doesn’t pretty much explain what I have been thinking for the last while, I don’t know what will. Read and learn.

From XKCD

So this is what we have come to. We are now promoting flat out random hugging. In case none of you have heard of it, this little jewel comes from the “No Cussing Club”. They are some national club trying to get people to say pickle instead of piss and barnacle instead of bitch. The list goes on as I am sure you are aware. There are books on how to avoid being pressured into swearing, and products like the little Fag-O**COUGH** Hug-O-Meter you see here.

The thing is though, this is what I see is wrong with a good chunk of our society. While it promotes some good values (random sexual encounters with bears), I can just see a priest or pastor using this to get his hand down some kids pants. I can see our friendly religious leader adding other colors to this.

Pink - NEEDS NIPPLES TWISTED (LICKING OPTIONAL)
Brown - NEEDS THUMB UP POOPER (LICKING OPTIONAL)
Orange - NEEDS HAND JOB (LICKING OPTIONAL)
Tan - NAKED PICTURE TIME EVERYONE! (LICKING OPTIONAL)
Yellow -  LETS PLAY POPSICLE! (LICKING REQUIRED)

I am just waiting to see the little disclaimer at the bottom he adds too.
“WORKS ONLY WITHIN CONFESSIONAL BOOTH WITH KIDS WHO ARE TOO DAMAGED TO SAY NO BECAUSE THEIR FATHERS SERIAL RAPE THEM MERCILESSLY WHILE MOMMY IS AT WORK”

Seriously, if you want your kid to take a few trips up the Hershey Highway, go ahead and buy him one of these. In fact, go ahead and let him take it to school. Let him try to hug a few of his buddies. See how THAT works out for him. Maybe it will give daddy another chance to rape him when he is already beaten and bruised from all his buddies!

Beyond the fact that my gaydar was screaming when I saw this, what about the bears on it? Seriously, listen to the story and you will see what I saw.

If you notice, dude bear and chick bear are getting a little fresh. Nice going dude bear! Dude bears pants are a little bit saggy. If you look at dude bear though, you will see that he is not the type of bear to wear saggy pants. Therefore, chick bear must have unbuttoned and unzipped them before reaching around and grabbing dude bears ass to pull him closer. All the while, dude bear has been getting his shit on with chick bears neck. Notice chick bears happy “far away in another dude bears arms” look on her face. If you notice though, chick bears skirt is not even! While all this was happening, dude bear has been using that concealed left hand to pull it up and play with chick bears “tail”. (She likes it dirty…)

You see, this isn’t a child friendly product. For hells sake, IT IS PROMOTING VOYEURISM AND BESTIALITY!

Save your childs anus. Avoid this club, and this toy. And avoid bears. Bears are very bad.

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work

Thought everyone might get a kick outa this.